Work-life Philosophers Gifts

'My nephew always keeps his mind on his work!'

"Don't flutter your little wings on company time."

'I'm afraid you don't have the leadership qualities we're seeking.'

"Yes, six to seven weeks is my life expectancy! Once I learned that, I thought, the hell with it, I'll stop working and start travelling..."

Motivation to work

"Look at them smiling. They've reached their comfort zone."

I'm not making enough money to like you.

'I just don't feel I'm getting anywhere.'

My brilliant career

'My pessimism keeps me optimistic.'

"You need to justify your own existence first."

'Your salary will help you learn the lesson that life is not fair.'

Man at desk has a desk tray labeled "In one ear,' and another labeled "Out the other."

"I think we're all agreed that we need to focus 110% on meeting strategic corporate goals."

"Meanwhile, obsessing about productivity is way up."

"Always take the bull firmly by the tail and look him directly in the eye..."

'I'm not worried about losing my job. I'm worried about keeping it.'

"I misjudged you Fenton. I thought you were a 'mover and shaker' but all the time you were just bobbing and weaving."

The role of administration.

'Not only does he suffer from anxiety, he makes everyone else suffer from it too.'

Government Offices / In tray, No Exit tray.

"Sir, the staff are all assembled for your pep talk."

''A desk job.' That's what they called it at the interview.' 'Same here.' 'SHH!'

Caveman to kid: 'There's more to life than what you read on cave walls.'

I can outsource your job to someone who'll work longer hours for less money. Less money I can understand...but how do they make the hours longer than 60 minutes?

Middle Age: When you finally get your head together, and your body starts to fall apart!

"Someone, call the office and see if we can get a fresh carrot."

'Apparently you can't fire everybody and still maintain productivity.'

"After an extensive analysis of your company's strengths and weaknesses our recommendation is to give us more money."

"The boss says he can remember the day I first started...but nothing after that."

'Thanks, Brian, for your thoughtful and constructive proposal. Without further ado, we'll now dive into malicious, envy-based criticism, character assassination and petty bickering!'

"Pendleton, as of noon today your services will no longer be required. Meanwhile, keep up the good work."

'I like people.. but not a whole lot.'

'I don't like the looks of this ... '