Work-life Philosopher Pillows

"Would you like to hear about our retirement plan?"

A man on a desert island has an inbox and outbox both filled with sand.

Body Language Expert - 'You don't like your job do you?'

'We've been wondering about this 'rat race' you go to everyday...'

"So, do you come here often?"

'I'm not married to my job - we're just shacked up!'

"Ever since I became a contractor in communications I've had absolutely no one to talk to..."

Evolution of the Working Man.

'The systems are up and running, the colleagues are friendly, even th boss is smiling... when everything works that perfect, there must be something going wrong!'

"For those missing years, I refer you to my book 'Lost in Tanzania.'"

"My father told me if I just do what I love I'll never work a day in my life. I've worked every day of my life."

"Don't flutter your little wings on company time."

'I'm afraid you don't have the leadership qualities we're seeking.'

"Yes, six to seven weeks is my life expectancy! Once I learned that, I thought, the hell with it, I'll stop working and start travelling..."

Motivation to work

"Look at them smiling. They've reached their comfort zone."

I'm not making enough money to like you.

'I just don't feel I'm getting anywhere.'

My brilliant career

'My pessimism keeps me optimistic.'

"You need to justify your own existence first."

'Your salary will help you learn the lesson that life is not fair.'

Man at desk has a desk tray labeled "In one ear,' and another labeled "Out the other."

"I think we're all agreed that we need to focus 110% on meeting strategic corporate goals."

"Meanwhile, obsessing about productivity is way up."

"Always take the bull firmly by the tail and look him directly in the eye..."

The role of administration.

"I misjudged you Fenton. I thought you were a 'mover and shaker' but all the time you were just bobbing and weaving."

'Not only does he suffer from anxiety, he makes everyone else suffer from it too.'

"Sir, the staff are all assembled for your pep talk."

''A desk job.' That's what they called it at the interview.' 'Same here.' 'SHH!'

Caveman to kid: 'There's more to life than what you read on cave walls.'

I can outsource your job to someone who'll work longer hours for less money. Less money I can understand...but how do they make the hours longer than 60 minutes?

Middle Age: When you finally get your head together, and your body starts to fall apart!

"Someone, call the office and see if we can get a fresh carrot."