Work-from-home Jokester T-Shirts

"Since I now telecommute I'm pretty sure I can only be telefired."

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

"Shall we start with an icebreaker?"

'Senior management wanted me to raise morale so I made Lionel from accounts 'office jester'!'

'It's a difficult job, he needed a bigger than average 'stress ball'.'

Politicians' basements (as seen on TV)

"A dozen eggs and a pint of semi-skimmed...Sorry, looks like I left my presentation in my other coat."

'Got to admit,as far as mission statements go, it's pretty damn bold.'

"Lost my job. But I'm pretty sure it's around here somewhere."

"I'm working from home today."

'The cash bonus incentives don't appear to be having the desired results. So, I've hired Rocky, here. He'll be providing the heads of the least productive departments with his own brand of incentive. If you know what I mean.'

"Hire a cost cutting, bad-guy consultant to turn me into a good guy during the layoffs."

'And I see you've listed opposable thumbs as your greatest asset...'

Though Mr. Frackman had yet to say a word, Bill sensed he was about to receive a particularly lousy performance review.

Chritmas Party - "What in our own time?"

Clowns in the board room: 'As you can see by the pie chart, most of our expenses go to, well, pie.'

'Yes, we do have an incentive scheme.We call it 'continued employment'.'

"Personally, I'd like to hire you, Mike, but the company has some serious concerns about your core competencies!"

'I recognize the face ... I just can't pin down the name.'

'We like your style, but hate your substance.'

"If you really want to get ahead you'll need to stop licking your own butt and start licking mine."

'Tell your boss we represent an independent watchdog committee.'

'Don't disturb me - I'm in conference!'

Corporate Ladder and Corporate Elevator

STRIP Hambone: Businessman in hospital with his computer

"Make sure the coffee has extra caffeine. I want the employees awake during overtime."

He likes to make work fun

"My boss had security escort me out of the office today. I'm worried this means I won't be getting a bonus."

'I think our only choice at this point is to take the next big step.'

'Imagine if it was this simple to upgrade our staff.'

'I'll review your salary next spring.'

'So, paternity leave problem solved then?'

"Who's your daddy corporation?"

'Well, I was looking for a yes-man, but I guess a toady will do just as well.'

"The boss told me I have to start at the bottom."