Work Ethics Champion Pillows

"What? We owe our big profits to our motivated workforce and not our shareholders? Why wasn't I told this??"

Others will fight for you

"Yes, you have given 100% to this company. But, over the five years you've worked here that's only 20% a year."

'There's too much corruption in the third world.'

'Not only will it do the work of ten people, it will scare 40% more work out of the rest of the employees.'

"Right, I'd better go...corpses on't pick themselves clean y'know!"

"It's a full-blown empathy attack!. . . help me sneak him out of here before this thing spreads through the entire company!"

"You want self-motivation? Look! I have my own carrot and stick!"

'Memo to the wife...'

Industry and Idleness - The industrious apprentice, Lord Mayor of London.

"The boss won't be able to make it on time. He asked us to reschedule this meeting to discuss the agenda for our next meeting where we're going to brainstorm strategies to prevent procrastination in the workplace."

"He said it's all about holding on to tradition while embracing the future. I told him to keep his hands to himself."

Maybe you'd get more work done if you uninstalled that fish tank screensaver.'

Corporate Responsibility - All front with nothing behind it.

Merchant Bankers - Patience is a virtue, anyone displaying it will be dismissed

'Get a half-life Mrs Curie.'

Olympic Doping

Go and sin no more.

'It's how he wanted to be remembered.'

"Of course we employ the disabled. Halve the staff here are not able to get to work on time, the rest are not able to focus on the job."

"Right, first of all, which one of you bright, young things decided it would be a 'cool idea' to have a breakfast meeting?!"

I think you put it off long enough.

Woman works late.

'I thought you wanted to stop early today Ron!'

'I've always wanted to ask him if he's an 'illegal,' but I don't want to get caught up in the whole racial profiling thing.'

'I can tell you're a man of your word. I'd like you to be a man of my word.'

"I want you to prepare a business ethics presentation. If you don't have the time steal it off the internet."

'Does anyone see a reason why this new market strategy shouldn't move forward?...It's more an illegal scheme than a strategy, not to mention awfully immoral...in other words, blah blah blah windfall profits blah...'

"He was a firm believer in rolling up his sleeves."

'Bark less, work more.'

'We're looking for hard working optimists, because we pay straight commission plus a monthly lottery ticket.'

"Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and you will never see him at work again."