Work Ethic Warriors Pillows

"Our staff here at the practice believe in 10% inspiration and 90% perspiration, so I had these showers installed."

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'

"Give a sh*t" "Don't give a sh*t"

'Honey, I wish you wouldn't bring your work home with you!'

"I've never said this to a woman before, but here goes: We're not paying you enough."

'Take two tablets the moment you begin to feel indispensable.'

"I think I'll be late back for tea. . . about a week."

37 years in the same position.

"How's your insomnia?" "Bad, I can't even fall sleep during meetings."

Low-Energy Drinks

'No, I'm not stranded. This is the only place I could find that has no distractions.'

Man sees sign as he exits bathroom: 'Employees Often Wash Hands'.

'Today is the tomorrow I feared yesterday. . .'

'How many times have I told to seize the day before it seizes you?'

"Now, let's get out there and walk really fast to places we don't want to be."

Hand Sanitizer Man, beloved superhero of every workplace in the world.

'I had no idea aspirin came in such a large bottle.'

Back to work...

'Can you do more work then is humanly possible?'

'Did you just show your teeth at me Wilson?'

"You are being overly-defensive again, Brenda!"

'I need to talk to you about the coffee fund.'

'Don't worry about the company's pension plan. The way we work you, you'll be lucky to live that long!'

"Hiring someone to replace me and then expecting me to train him just doesn't sit well with me."

'The boss put his picture up to enspire us. But it just isn't having that effect on me.'

Laptop Dancing.

'It's 930am ma'am - time to meet the Board of Detractors.'

Working Late

'Here's another one that'll make you blow your stack.'

'Please leave the light on, dear. I'm afraid there might be OSHA inspectors under the bed.' 'Managers at Night.'

"I am not a workaholic. I just work to relax."

Five doors: Push, Pull, Up High, Down Low, Too Slow.

'Can I call you back, Frank? A giant maggot is eating my desk, people are shooting at me and my hair is on fire.'