Wordsmith's Block Club Gifts

'So you want an advance on your writer's block?'

"You've got to learn about verbs. How else are you going to verbalize your feelings?

'Junior's writing has improved. His letters from college pleading for more money, are froceful and flawlessly written.'

'No spell-check?? And you call this HEAVEN??'

"Swing me with your words."

"Be or be not. There is no question."

I often thought that I should have been a weaver of words,someone who danced and sang his way into peoples souls and through my imagination led others into a world of dreams and intoxicating revelry...But auditing offered a much better pension.

'He's a man of few works. He likes to talk, he just has a limited vocabulary.'

Accountant Manqué

Books vs mobile phones

"Audacity, noun. Unrestrained impudence. Impudence... Impudence... Impudent, adjective. Marked by impertinent disrespect. Impertinent... Impertinent..."

"My essay is titled Essay: Educational Tool or Tired Cliche?"

"When I grow up I'm going to be a ghost writer."

Will Self deprecation

Rudyard Kipling

Emily Dickinson

'I really need to become a great poet while I still have time before I graduate.'

Best Seller 'Screw You'. Kiss the Author's Ass 2 PM.

Major Poets, Minor Poets, Free Agents.

"Is this speech pie-in-the-sky nonsense or aspirational?"

Steinbeck - stuck on the title page (Grapes of Wrath).

'When I said we should read together I meant separate books.'

'I hope he didn't write the menu.' (Pub quizzers comment on poor grammar)

'Where's the spell checker on a pencil?'

"The quality of the writing is an embarrassment, it has no style, no fluency, no soul!"

"The working title needs work."

"I know the alphabet. I just don't know how to work it."

"It's a brovella about my life in the frat. But if it's longer than two hundred pages it becomes a brahvel."