Witty Worrier Pillows

No Action Comics

Pre-Traumatic Stress Disorder

"I just talked to Grunzman on the phone when he called in sick...I fear he really has got something very, very highly contagious!"

A Hole in the Dike

"Why is it always me that has to get up just as I'm falling asleep to do things I forgot."

I.T. Fear

"And finally, I'd like to take any questions from the floor."

"Honey, can you read through our list and let me know if I forgot anything?"

'Ms. Hatton, take a letter, a number and a hike...'

'Being a nobody isn't so bad...You don't have to worry about becoming a has-been.'

'But do you realize what this report cart will do to my self-esteem?'

Separation Anxiety

I think I have a gilt complex.

In 1682 in a remote cave in the Ural Mountains, Heinrick Glaston discovers irony.

'I'm not convinced you need tranquillizers to switch phone provider.'

Nervous Kid sees the dentist's toolkit.

'Aunt Joan and Uncle Wally took Luci to the emergency room.'

Mechanics price list.

One Way/Two Ways.

"I thought I'd done everything to get a decent pension..."

"Do you have money or is it money that has you?"

Eye of needle fat cat size That'll do nicely.

'If my grades don't improve, I don't know what'll happen. Maybe they'll offer me a buyout.'

'You can't take it with you so I'm sending it on ahead.'

"Right. Money isn't everything - what's the other thing again?"

'Man! With its ever-rising value, you have enough gold in your mouth to ensure a great retirement...of course without teeth!

Very sad piggy bank

'I can't relax _ I'm worrying about your watch being five minutes slow !'

'Someday, son, all this will be divided among your ex-wives.'

Full Harvest Moon

'Just taking precautions in case the plumber doesn't come before the house sinks!'

Golden handshake old redundancy port.

"I'd like something profound, witty, and outrageously irreverent."

"You fear saying something stupid. In layman's terms, cat's got your tongue."

"Trust me: It's benign."