Witty Wizard Seeker Gifts

'...so you need us to slow time, break the law and perform three miracles...by next Tuesday. You need to dial extension 101 and ask for the Wizard of Oz!'

"I got super baked in the shire and accidentally recruited these four little weirdos for the most important mission of all time."

Backfire

Harry Potter learns some 'new tricks' on his first day enrolled in a public school.

"Home depot."

"This paw has you meeting a lovely poodle, an enchantress who will win your heart... but look, here, this is telling me she's lousy with fleas."

"Harry Potter and the People Who Care Way Too Much About Harry Potter"

Miss America IQ Pageant

Newt sale

'Whoooa,MAN,check out this STORM! It's PELTING down!'

Kiddies Menu for Witches

'See how the fools flee when fantasy role-play is fantasy no longer!'

Fellow Sheep of the Ring

Obama of Oz.

"Since my divorce I thought I'd never laugh again. Then I noticed your toupee."

'Hey, 'Houdini', after you figure out how to levitate the cork ou tof the bottle, I can use your magic at the kitchen sink.'

"If you could have a dinner conversation with someone, living or dead, who would it be?"

Conference Room. I don't have the heart to tell him it wasn't a compliment when the boss said "in every brainstorming session Ernie is a ray of sunshine."

In 1682 in a remote cave in the Ural Mountains, Heinrick Glaston discovers irony.

'Always the wise guy.'

Lord of the Rings: Two Towels

Wendel enjoyed magic school but he was having a little trouble in his trickonometry class.

Arabic Thief Salad - lashings of whipped cream...

Dr. Prebish didn't always fit in with the other scientists.

'You know, on second thought, we just might have an opening.'

'Welcome to the first support group for people who wish they were at Hogwarts.'

Law office sign: "Defending the citizen's entitlement to folly since 1935"

"She can be outspoken."

'And you dolls are the only friends I need to keep me... hey, where are you going?'

"These LARPERS are a bit more subtle and reality-based."

"What's the difference between a good joke and a bad joke timing."

"Of course you can't replicate my experiments. That's the beauty of them."

Edwina momentarily considered sarcasm. . .

How did that enchantment go again? Must I spell out everything for you?!

Wow. That WAS a lot faster.