Witty Repartee Fans Prints

'A cheeky red?'

Freudian Bar & Grill...Jungian Pub: 'We can out drink those Freudians ant day of the week!...'And twice on Sunday!' ...'Yeah!' ... e

"What's a nice girl like you doing in a bubble like this?"

'Talking of of big tops have you seen the new barmaid at the Green Dragon?'

"Sadie, I just heard they discovered lots of ancient cities buried hundreds of years ago in the jungles of Cambodia. They've each got weird geometric patterns outlining what may have been gardens. But no one really knows what they were used for. I guess what I'm asking you is... what were they used for? Y'know, since you were there to see them in their prime. They were used for ritual sacrifices of dullards. For educational purposes, I shall now perform one."

"Remember - you have sharp teeth and claws, but he has sarcasm."

Cold caller.

When Stupid People Get an Idea

The Gilmore Girls

A lesson in wit

"Yes, it was 'love at first sight'. But, by the time I'd made my first opticians appointment we were already married."

'Sure you always catch bigger fish than me. Your arms are a foot longer than mine.'

"Yes, mother, I'm recharging."

'The part I like best about sex is when I light a cigarette and say next.'

"Your Honor, I would like the record to state that Mr. Katzman is a 'hostile witness'."

"Is there a humorist in the house?"

'Nobody goes there any more.' - 'It's too crowded.'

"Tom, we've started a little office pool on how long it'll take me to get your job. Want in?"

"O.K., your mouth may be clean but I'll bet your mind is filthy."

'Can we just do this pass-fail?'

'I object to the prosecution calling my client a liar. The witness is merely fact-based reality challenged.'

"Kids today are so blasé. Her first word was 'meh' instead of mommy."

"My husband would get out and change the tire, but he has a lug nut allergy."

'I would go to the end of the world for you.' - 'Yes, but would you stay there?'

'Sorry, I don't carry cash, I'm married!'

'You Honor, my client would like to change his plea to 'pretty please with sugar on it.''

'Not tonight, I have a headache,'

'Today is. . . Tuesday! We are going. . . on a picnic. . . I am. . . an idiot.'

Cylinder Head

'True but only in practice, not in principle.'

"I wouldn't say that you're old, Dear, just way past your 'Best Before' date!"

"He damaged a nerve when he pulled the thorn out. I'd have had a surefire malpractice suit if I hadn't eaten him."