Witty Banter Advocate Prints

Milk is for wimps.

Smart Ass - Wise Ass

"Why don't you come get me? Oh that's right, you aren't allowed on the couch!"

Freudian Bar & Grill...Jungian Pub: 'We can out drink those Freudians ant day of the week!...'And twice on Sunday!' ...'Yeah!' ... e

"Touché"

I thought I was proposing to Sally, but evidently I was challenging her to a twenty year series of debates.

'If you must know, yes, I do sometimes fake purring.'

"I'll have a man overboard!"

Happy Hour 5-7. (Not really an hour, not really happy.) At last, truth in advertising.

'Talking of of big tops have you seen the new barmaid at the Green Dragon?'

"Oh Gregori! You tell such funny stories!"

"I never make the same mistake twice. I make it 5-6 times, just to be sure."

A lesson in wit

The Gilmore Girls

Cold caller.

"Remember - you have sharp teeth and claws, but he has sarcasm."

Heart To Heart

When Stupid People Get an Idea

'I'd like an 'Innuendo' please - a big one.'

'Sure you always catch bigger fish than me. Your arms are a foot longer than mine.'

Leonard L. Lipchitz: Sending the Law since 1972

"Your Honor, I would like the record to state that Mr. Katzman is a 'hostile witness'."

"Tom, we've started a little office pool on how long it'll take me to get your job. Want in?"

"Yeah, I know why you pulled me over. But, c'mon. I'm down to half a pack a day and I'm tryin' to quit."

'The part I like best about sex is when I light a cigarette and say next.'

'Yeah, but tomorrow I'll be sober, and you'll still be a giraffe!'

"O.K., your mouth may be clean but I'll bet your mind is filthy."

"Is there a humorist in the house?"

'How many husbands have I had? Do you mean excluding my own?'

Know-it-alls

'Nobody goes there any more.' - 'It's too crowded.'

Edwina momentarily considered sarcasm. . .

"What?! You didn't say nuthin' about this bein' a yo' mam joke battle!"

Full Of Beans

'I'm having trouble with drinking. . . I'm getting Arthritis in my elbow.'