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The Bull, the Bear, the Ant, and the Grasshopper

'The meaning of life is loction,location,location.'

The day the stock market went UP.

"Until we get a bigger chart, we're estimating it's now about up to here."

"I've finally found a therapist who understands options."

'You shouldn't have taken that personal pension.' 'You shouldn't have taken that endowment mortgage.' 'When do you get your free tv license?' Job's comforters, today.

'Believe me dad. I'm on the school math team. If your investments declined 50 then increased 50 you did not break even.'

Saving for College.

"I feel I'm doing fine. My sense of net worth is way up this quarter."

'I'm finally at one with the universe...but apparently that doesn't include the DOW.'

"Stocks edged lower on the news there's more to life than the accumulation of material things..."

"To mediate properly, you need a mantra. How about 'Ka-Ching'?"

A statue of a businessman in a park with an inscription that reads "Outperformed the market".

'I actually look forward to hibernating during bull markets.'

Financial Prudence disappears.

'The prince and the princess lived happily ever after on their profits from capital-appreciation funds.'

"I crunched the numbers until cautiously opportunistic."

'Do you mind if I take the rest of my session to get your input on investor psychology?'

"You can take it with you down here - but no social conscience funds."

"Where do you get your inspiration?"

Elevator buttons read: Way Up/up/Down/Way Down.

'Don't jump! The latest market sector bubble to burst is making a turnaround!'

"If you don't bury 10% of your bones, you'll have nothing when you retire."

'A 7 load? Do you think I was born yesterday? Oh, wait, I was.'

"We don't do that kind of cattle futures, ma'am. You want Madam Mystic down the street."

'I hope this reform really hurts!!'

'May I have my allowance in gold bullion?'

"So is it good or bad if a stock is viral?"

'Stocks took a dive when a top economist was overheard saying 'Fools rush in where angels fear to tread.''

'Greed, wrath, envy and pride closed higher today, while lust, sloth and gluttony showed losses.'

"Call me a pie-in-the-sky idealist, but I've always found it important to invest with a firm that reflects my values!"

"The main, unchangeable principal that I use in life is to be pragmatic."

"This article says that a good investment consultant can smell money like a dog smells fear..."

'There's more to life than winning; there's also taking losses as tax write-offs, That's it?'

Drowning in the Financial Crisis.