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Book of Life, Answers in Back.

"The meaning of life is having a spectacular view."

"What do you mean, 'it is what it is. . .?'"

'I'll be danged- that's exactly what mom told me.'

'Can I use your mantra today? - I forgot mine.'

"You seek enlightenment? Here? Nitwit."

"Life is just a bowl of cherries? I demand a second opinion!"

"Man cave? You think too small."

"No, no, no! -- Self-actualization is the OPPOSITE of enlightenment!"

"Are we almost enlightened yet?"

'That's the best advice you got? There's no business like show business?'

'Desires are like pop-up windows. You close one, another will pop up.'

'Now, until you've attained perfect wisdom, you'll have to learn to evade questions.'

'I climbed all the way up here to learn the meaning of life from a cat?!'

'Will you please put that book away? It's bad for business.'

'Oh, he's pretty wise -- I clerked for him.'

'I know we're not supposed to wear them, but I got it for Father's Day.'

'The secret to life number 3 is...or was that number 4? No, wait...that was number 7...or was it 8?'

Closed Today: In-Cave Training

You're enlightened, eh? --- How's that working out for you?

Gurus. When they get here, remember to use your insight voice.

"Behold the secret to happiness."

"Feel free to take notes."

5pm Happy Hour. 6pm discussion: what is true happiness?

'He who laughs last probably doesn't get it.'

Road sign: 'No Passing Zone... This, too, shall pass.'

'Do you think that's wise?'

'Enlightenment isn't EITHER overrated!'

"Oh indeed I did: I went feral for a year when I was young. It taught me a lot about the world, but about myself too..."

'He was just saying that all things come to him who waits and, sure enough, along came a lightning bolt.'

"O.K., O.K., people - we're not workshopping these, they're already set in stone."

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a MAP, actually."

'Oh, crap.'

"I don't know… Did you try Googling it?"

"But how do I accomplish that in 140 characters or less?"