Wine Wisecracker Prints

"Ahh, wine. Grape juice that went on to earn a graduate degree."

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

The Vineyard

'Well, now that I know he's the owner's son, yes, he's the best damned wine steward I've ever seen.'

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

'A cheeky red?'

"Vintage? What would you like it to be?"

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

'Only the years when the market was Bullish...'

"And for my next trick. . . turning wine back into water."

Bacchus.

"It better not be any of that over oaked chardonnay."

Sauvignon Bonk

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

The Wine Bottle and the Corkscrew

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

"Go ahead. Press one for more options."

Every time you make a blend, somewhere, a wine maker dies.

'What sort of wines do you like?' ... 'Powerful ones!'

"Hi. What kind of wine goes with fruit salad?"

'If you're having trouble finding what you want, try our other store--'Cabernet Sauvignons Starting with the Letter B'.'

Leaning Wine Bottle of Pisa

"I’ve settled comfortably into middle-age while Barry has settled comfortably into Middle Earth."

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

"As an avid red wine drinker, I can say, with certainty, that the notion that drinking clarity impares claret is false!"

"Maybe we should have brought a Riesling."

"Sometimes Peter I wish it would just stay as water."

"Which wine would you pair with the complimentary bread and butter?"

'One more for me an Tiffany, and one more for you and the road.'

"We're hoping for a really smooth wine here."

'Your stab at ordering the wine in French went well.'

"I think it stopped breathing."

"You have a big check because you had a big wine."

"Grapes, Rye, Malt... I got into this through my vegetarianism."