Wine Taster Extraordinaire T-Shirts

'He must be a top vintner. He's out standing in his field.'

'I was working as a wine taster until the boss fired me for not drinking on the job.'

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

Sloaney Pony.

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

'Well, now that I know he's the owner's son, yes, he's the best damned wine steward I've ever seen.'

'Men are like fragments of soap... they get together in bars!'

"Vintage? What would you like it to be?"

'A cheeky red?'

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

Yoga for Alcoholics

Wine Lady

'Only the years when the market was Bullish...'

Sauvignon Bonk

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

"It better not be any of that over oaked chardonnay."

"I'm not weird I'm a 'person of weirdness'."

"Umm ... not sure what notes you'll detect on your palate, but it'll get you ripped."

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

The Wine Bottle and the Corkscrew

'... And this is my cellar.'

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

'My luck, I buy a bottle of wine from 450 B.C. and it's still five years from reaching maturity.'

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

Bubbly

'The way I see it, sobriety is a preventable, condition.'

'I like you, you remind me of someone.'

'Eight years old, huh? If it's so good, why didn't somebody drink it eight years ago?'

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

French wine

'If you're having trouble finding what you want, try our other store--'Cabernet Sauvignons Starting with the Letter B'.'

Wine Selection 'Here we are. Our cheapest house wine. Would the gentleman care to smell the twisty cap?'

"As an avid red wine drinker, I can say, with certainty, that the notion that drinking clarity impares claret is false!"

'Of course I'm out of touch with reality. That's what I came here for.'