Wine Humor Appreciator Pillows

"This wine tastes like a**....Bring me every bottle you have!"

'Wine, high octane grape juice.'

Opening the Barrel

'George, you're supposed to be tasting the wine, not seeing what effect it has.'

'Tomato ketchup?' 'Well you wanted the house red.'

'Brand X, the wine for those with indiscriminate taste.'

'I don't actually want to learn so much that I become a wine buff - just a wine snob!'

'No, I can't remember the name of the wine, but it did come in a bottle about this tall, if that's any help.'

A high wire act walks over to a bottle of wine.

"Hey! Waiter! This is a dessert wine!"

'Who took the cork out of my lunch?'

'Bob will be with you in a moment. He's cleaning the filter to the wine-aroma-judging-device attached to his face.'

"Tell me more about your problem - I understand it's drink related."

"Do you have a wine that tastes like beer?"

'I noticed your wine list only has reds and whites. Don't you have any yellow wines?'

'Sir has made the most discerning choice to wash it down with Drain Glug.'

"Would sir like to try the wine. . . ?"

'How wonderful, I've always wanted to meet a connoisseur of wines costing under £4.99 a bottle.'

'At home, he's my husband, here; he's my dump bucket.'

Waiter watering down wine

"A whino!"

"Would you like an ice bucket with your Champagne?"

"A cheeky little wine, would you agree?"

'You opened it five hours ago. If it breathes any more, it's going to hyperventilate.'

'How come your oldest vintage is on the top shelf?' 'I can't reach up there!'

'For future reference, just the bottle goes in the chiller.'

'Mmm...it's got a good nose on it.'

"He's a wino-saur."

'You know, our collection of bottle bags is worth more than our collection of wines.'

Man offering a drink to a drowning man

'The dining room? It's 18 wine bottles long, and 15 wide.'

'I quite the wine class after 5 minutes. The instructor started by saying that wine a liquid, but it's dry.'

Every business along this street additionally sells wine.