Wine Festival Gifts

Chilean Wine Fest.

Wine Lady

"We like you better than Robert Mondavi."

'Okay, that's 4 for the Malbec, 3 for the Chianti and 2 for the Merlot. You want to go with that, or wait for the write-in votes?'

'If you're having trouble finding what you want, try our other store--'Cabernet Sauvignons Starting with the Letter B'.'

Amateurs de vin...

In the Guru District

Glastonbury. After.

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

"I think the most rewarding part of caring for elderly parents is when they call you because they don't want to bother the 9-1-1 people."

'A cheeky red?'

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

Leaning Tower -After a bottle, Jean noticed the tower stopped leaning.

Sauvignon Bonk

6 Brothers Falafel

"And for my next trick. . . turning wine back into water."

Bacchus.

'Sooner or later, someone at the party will hand you a sandwich and a glass of wine - then what?'

"Well, that's the only song we know, so we can play it another two or three times, or we can cut our losses. Waddya say, Cleveland?"

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

'... And this is my cellar.'

'Well, gotta get up early and start drinking again.'

"Wait 'til my Dad hears about this!"

At the rock concert...

'He's holding a sign saying he's marooned with 20 cases of La Tache. A second sign: drop a corkscrew and come back in six months.'

"Go ahead. Press one for more options."

"Maybe we should have brought a Riesling."

Wine enthusiast tries to make his way to Cork.

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

Rainbow Quartet

'One more for me an Tiffany, and one more for you and the road.'

"He gets easily abstracted."

'Note to self: Like coffee, homemade coffee wine should be available in decaf, too.'

Pasta

'Wine, high octane grape juice.'