Wine Department Aficionado T-Shirts

'I love this supermarket; they have the easiest to understand wine department.'

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

In the Guru District

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

"I think the most rewarding part of caring for elderly parents is when they call you because they don't want to bother the 9-1-1 people."

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

'A cheeky red?'

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

Wine Lady

"It better not be any of that over oaked chardonnay."

Bacchus.

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

'Only the years when the market was Bullish...'

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

Sauvignon Bonk

"Now I really hate poetry."

'Sooner or later, someone at the party will hand you a sandwich and a glass of wine - then what?'

The Wine Bottle and the Corkscrew

'Well, gotta get up early and start drinking again.'

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

"Wait 'til my Dad hears about this!"

'The way I see it, sobriety is a preventable, condition.'

'My luck, I buy a bottle of wine from 450 B.C. and it's still five years from reaching maturity.'

'I like you, you remind me of someone.'

"Go ahead. Press one for more options."

'He's holding a sign saying he's marooned with 20 cases of La Tache. A second sign: drop a corkscrew and come back in six months.'

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

Leaning Wine Bottle of Pisa

'Which wine list would you like, Sir - Classics or Plonk?'

Wine Selection 'Here we are. Our cheapest house wine. Would the gentleman care to smell the twisty cap?'

"I’ve settled comfortably into middle-age while Barry has settled comfortably into Middle Earth."

"As an avid red wine drinker, I can say, with certainty, that the notion that drinking clarity impares claret is false!"

Every time you make a blend, somewhere, a wine maker dies.