Wine Department Aficionado T-Shirts

'I love this supermarket; they have the easiest to understand wine department.'

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

In the Guru District

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

"I think the most rewarding part of caring for elderly parents is when they call you because they don't want to bother the 9-1-1 people."

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

'A cheeky red?'

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

Wine Lady

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

"Now I really hate poetry."

'Only the years when the market was Bullish...'

Sauvignon Bonk

Bacchus.

"It better not be any of that over oaked chardonnay."

'Sooner or later, someone at the party will hand you a sandwich and a glass of wine - then what?'

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

The Wine Bottle and the Corkscrew

'Well, gotta get up early and start drinking again.'

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

'My luck, I buy a bottle of wine from 450 B.C. and it's still five years from reaching maturity.'

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

'The way I see it, sobriety is a preventable, condition.'

"Wait 'til my Dad hears about this!"

'I like you, you remind me of someone.'

'He's holding a sign saying he's marooned with 20 cases of La Tache. A second sign: drop a corkscrew and come back in six months.'

"Go ahead. Press one for more options."

"I’ve settled comfortably into middle-age while Barry has settled comfortably into Middle Earth."

Every time you make a blend, somewhere, a wine maker dies.

"Maybe we should have brought a Riesling."

'Which wine list would you like, Sir - Classics or Plonk?'

"Hi. What kind of wine goes with fruit salad?"

Leaning Wine Bottle of Pisa

"As an avid red wine drinker, I can say, with certainty, that the notion that drinking clarity impares claret is false!"