Wine Connoisseur With A Twist T-Shirts

'... And this is my cellar.'

"I'm getting plasma, iron and platelets. RH positive!"

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

'A cheeky red?'

"It better not be any of that over oaked chardonnay."

Sauvignon Bonk

"Now I really hate poetry."

Bacchus.

'The way I see it, sobriety is a preventable, condition.'

'My luck, I buy a bottle of wine from 450 B.C. and it's still five years from reaching maturity.'

"Wait 'til my Dad hears about this!"

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

'He's holding a sign saying he's marooned with 20 cases of La Tache. A second sign: drop a corkscrew and come back in six months.'

"As an avid red wine drinker, I can say, with certainty, that the notion that drinking clarity impares claret is false!"

Wine Selection 'Here we are. Our cheapest house wine. Would the gentleman care to smell the twisty cap?'

'Which wine list would you like, Sir - Classics or Plonk?'

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

"I find that hugely offensive!"

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

Every time you make a blend, somewhere, a wine maker dies.

'Which wine goes best with 'the old man and the sea'?'

'You certainly have a well equipped workbench.'

"Why did we run out of wine?! I'll tell you why...Mary's son brought 12 of his friends who crashed the wedding party! That's why!"

'Why, thank you. When they started the vineyard five generations ago, I heard they were shooting for freakin' awesome.'

'Dang! I never now if the sommelier is messing with me.'

"I make it myself!"

'Wine, high octane grape juice.'

"Do you think there's ANY possibility that the 76 pints of lager,13 bottles of wine and 12 kilos of chocolate you've had MAY have contributed to you feeling 'a bit under the weather'?"

"So the wife says to me, you need to take the dog out..." "Wine list, please."

Woman thinking about luxuries.

"I'm prescribing a mild sedative. Go wine shopping and get yourself a nice Chablis."

"I detect a subtle bouquet of money."

The wine-shop

'S'more wine?'