Wildlife Gourmet Mugs

'Anybody bring some catsup?'

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

'I want to make a positive environmental statement - What do you suggest I order?'

La Table

'Er . . . and a fork for me...'

"And I'm teaming that burned sausage up with a warm, flat local lager."

"You say your crème needs more Brulée?"

'The heart and eyes feel nothing, but the stomach and ears are completely infatuated.'

"I just finished your manuscript and I found the ending delicious."

'I'm a vegetarian.' - 'If it's so wrong to eat animals, why are they made out of meat?'

"Oh, look- French! Let's try it."

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

"...But ASIDE from that, how was your trip to France?"

It turns out they don't go together so well,

'Waiter...my entrée fell over.'

Jeff soon discovered his mistake in ordering the one ton soup.

The Main Types of Cheese

'I go to St. Patrick's Church, I go to St. Patrick's School, and my name is Patrick. Is it also necessary for me to eat green food?'

"I forgot to take a pic of the tacos."

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

Too much cilantro

"Hmmm... low ash content. Smells like someone switched to canola oil... wait, is that tripe I smell?"

"Keep your glasses on. It will look like twice as much."

To do before Saturday...

'You wanted to be a wine maker in the worst way, Paul - and you've succeeded.'

Gaston's Gourmet Truckstop

"Grass...Grass and more damn grass... What I wouldn't give for a lightly poached Dover sole with a garlic infused tarragon sauce."

"The recipe said to let the chicken rest after it comes out of the oven!"

'Why, thank you. When they started the vineyard five generations ago, I heard they were shooting for freakin' awesome.'

"This is locally grown and good for the environment, but it may give you greenhouse gas."

'Actually I'm a nerdivore. I only eat your lamer plants and animals: duckbill platypi, cumquats, daffodils, the occasional mudshark.'

"You have a big check because you had a big wine."

Holiday Supplies

"Spoiler alert! If you read the specials, you'll find out the Chef's Surprise!"