Wife Expecting A Child Mugs

'You say that he's so good that you 'Don't know you've got him', so what's the point of him?'

"Are you insane?!" The Velveteen Skunk

"I know what this is, it's what mum and dad call 'working from home'...

"They grow up so fast."

The Baby Walker

'We had the baby's ultrasound photo made into wallpaper.'

'I told you it would be useful.'

"Don't worry, they normally look like little humans during the early scans."

'OK, now let's be careful out there.'

"Great! I must be growing. The womb was less than half full last week."

"I only travelled with my umbilical cord!"

Pool attached to child's bed.

Pregnant lady being greeted by foetus.

Gifts for a cloned baby!

Man dreams of romance whilst a woman dreams of romance and babies.

"There's your son's heartbeat, and over here is the app he's developing."

"I'd like to get my hands on whoever coined the phrase 'sleeps like a baby'."

"No wonder babies are born screaming. I haven't had a wink of sleep since the exit light came on!"

Naturally, Bob thought the midwife was for him.

"Will you be putting her in day care or bringing her up artisanally?"

"That's all I get? A sonogram? No tracking number?"

'At this rate I'll end up with more heirs than hairs!'

"Force quit! Force quit! Force quit!!"

"Remember, pregnancy is like taking an exciting thrill ride at an amusement park only the seats are larger."

"Exercise ball? No thanks, I'm growing my own."

"No, the cordless embryo isn't available."

'Sure, a drawing on Facebook has coverage, but nothing wows the family like a spread on the fridge.'

'She's just great with the children.'

"I don't know, kids. I've been a stay-at-home dad for so long it just sort of... happened."

"The amnio's fine, the sex is male, and the name is Wade."

'Congratulations! You've just downloaded a baby boy.'

'and remember delivery is free if it happens in a half hour!'

"Have you and Tim picked out a name for the career obstacle yet?"

'Are you pregnant? How do you know? You look terrible!'

Same Day Delivery: "I wish!"