Wholesome Wellness Warriors Pillows

'Write all the angry clogs you want - you still have to eat your green beans.'

"What did you say about the health of my gut biome?"

"Okay, now breathe another sigh of relief."

Self help acupuncture

Dietician to man: 'To address your spare tire we must first get in touch with your inner tube.'

'Well, well, well...'

Be Healthy

"Your contents have shifted."

"Your bad cholesterol is trying to persuade your good cholesterol to switch sides."

"Another one so relaxed, she couldn't walk out of here."

Kid with 'Little Wellness Facilitator' kit

"(Huff) Here's (huff) your (huff) tea (huff... huff... huff... huff...)" "I will almost certainly regret asking you this, but what on earth are you doing, you cretin?" "All (huff) across America, (huff) office workers are ditching (huff) their desks and walking (huff) on treadmills while they work." "Can I get some water?" "Coming right up." "Good thing I wore my tripping shoes."

"I'm weighed down with so many gadgets, I'll need a push to start me off."

"Breathe in and reimagine yourself in a world where you lived a healthy lifestyle."

Emergency numbers on a telephone.

Treat Dispensers for the Middle-Aged

Couples Massage: "Did you remember the body oil?"

FIGHT STRESS: Walk-A-Thon

"Nice try, Jim, but there's no such thing as a 'Beer cleanse'."

"I told him he should have trained more."

Shrinks in heaven

"You're in perfect health and look half your age – I'm prescribing something to help you shut up about it."

'Miss Raleigh. I'm studying megatrends. Bring me some megavitamins.'

'Do you really think shoulder-to-wheel and nose-to-grindstone are valid yoga positions?'

Making healthy substitutions at mealtime

'You've still got the right stuff, only now it's in the wrong places.'

"Would you like me to give it to you straight or sugar-coated?"

Burnout Syndrome...

'C'mon, c'mon! I want to be the first one on the stair-climbing machine!'

Healthy living has added years to Melvin's life.

'What are you eating now?'

"I can't stay in this hospital bed too long. Everyone will think I'm too old...too fragile...ready for the home. I'm not ready for that!"

Traditional vs alternative medicine.

'Mom, do I have to hold my plank through desert, too?'