Whining Connoisseur Prints

Whining about mask wearing

'As you can see by the pie chart, most of our expenses go to well, pie.'

'If this is tea, I'll have a coffee. If it's a coffee, I'll have a tea!'

"War is hell and so is this soup."

"Do you want to be vaguely dissatisfied with Italian or Korean?"

'If God had meant us to fly, he'd give us more leg room.'

Man with wine glass face looks unhappy.

'I wanted this on the rocks.'

In, Out, Complain.

"I hear you've a complaint about the eggs..."

Crazy old clown cat lady.

'Someday we'll look back on this and think, ‘Why the hell didn't we sue?' '

You guys were right! Screaming profanities is more satisfying than howling these days.

Complaints departement for men and women.

Clown's In and Out Trays.

"Waiter, there's a hair in my soup!"

Cliche Amusement Park. This park is no fun at all --- It's too much like real life! Look, that ride is called "The Emotional Roller Coaster." Over there is "Life's Ups and Downs"! ... and "The Mood Swings"! Look! The good old "Tunnel of Love"! Finally! A ride that's just a fun escape! Out of ardor. "Out of ardor" --- More real life. (Published originally Sept. 4, 2005.)

'She got all the soap opera channels at a discount -- it's some kind of 'frequent cryer' program.'

'A word of advice, the squeaky wheel gets the totally organic, 0 trans-fat, soy-based lubricant.'

'... Further to our telephone conversation of the 3rd, my fax of the 11th, my letters of the 16th, 23rd and 28th, my emails of....'

'Turns out medicine is the best medicine.'

Clown Watercooler

Complaints clerk to consumer: A hair in your TV dinner? Maybe it belongs to a celebrity!

'He can toot his own horn but when he starts tooting the government's we need to step in.'

'This advertising campagn is stupid and disgusting and it appeals to peoples' most primitive instincts. I love it.'

"The show's a big hit, but a little too risque. It's not worth the aggravation we're getting from the watchdog groups."

'I wish you would come to me first with your grievances, instead of going directly to the United Nations Committee on Human Rights.'

Pizza and Related Searches.

Moanathon.

'He's sending it back....again! I swear this guy can't get no satisfaction.'

'I hate them too. Listen, would you like to go out sometime? Dinner maybe? We could complain about the service.'

"Robust, full-bodied bouquet with just a hint of bitter, mean-spirited despair."

'When I said you should complain about your steak I didn't mean whining about it on twitter.'

"There's a grouch on my couch."

After eating here for years, I've come down with abdominal pain and fatigue. Oh yeah? Also, irritability, sleep problems, headaches, loss of appetite, inexplicable weight loss, vomiting and constipation. Also, it took me three whole hours to figure out my new Apple watch, so chalk me up for learning difficulties. You're not by chance trying to get in one last lawsuit before Trump deregulates everything, are you? Heavens, no. Just feeling a little lead-poisony is all I'm saying.