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"Surviving the shipwreck wasn't that difficult, Ted. The Tin Man sacrificed himself to serve as a stove and the Scarecrow provided the needed fuel. At that point, the question of what to cook kind of solved itself."

Skipping Horse

"Actually, make that a double cream."

Bird feeding chick that is nesting in a knight's helmet

"Could you tell me how to get to cedar grove, New Jersey? I want to see where my grandfather was born."

Dog in casino.

Kiddies Menu for Witches

Cat eats date.

Hot Tub Frosty

"You're living in a fantasy world, Nelly. Farmer Dave doesn't know you're alive. Plus, he's a human being, he's married, he's the church pastor and he's secretly gay."

'This bottle of whisky will give you 'Dutch courage', it's the best I can do.'

"This way I don't have to lug around that big bag."

"When I go, I’d like my ashes dumped on top of a squirrel’s head."

'That's right Bill, I caught the Gingerbread Man...'

Through the Looking Glass - The White Knight and The Red Knight Battle.

'Pick a business card.'

"I'm thinking considerably longer. How about you, Alan?"

"No, it's not a growth; It looks more like a bite.''

Bus for Giraffes.

'I'm the good witch...this is my house made out of dental products.'

'Look Dear. The first Robin Hood of spring.'

The Tin Man really should have asked the wizard for common sense.

JEEZ! Who the hell is drawing you?

Scare Doe

"I've finally accepted the fact that I am full of it. . . with the help of my psychiatrist."

Baby delivery

'Hey! When did you learn cursive?'

' I can't drink that..I'm a recovering alcoholic ! '

'Compliments of the gentleman at the end of the bar.'