Whimsical Medical Marvel Lover Pillows

'This tongue transplant I had with fly paper is great.'

"His first out-of-body experience."

'I checked the database, Mrs. Nimitz. There's no such symptom.'

"That's an awfully large small intestine and an awfully small large intestine."

"He should be up and complaining in no time."

Roentgen tries to figure out what he's discovered.

"...we have a heart-lung-kidney-liver-spleen machine."

'Will you be wanting this?'

'Still have gas problems, Mr. Quigley?'

'... and we're also having a sale on do-it-yourself emergency surgery kits.'

Alexander Fleming

"Which one's yours?"

"I expect a speedy recovery,"

'Cock-a-doodle-doo!' 'Cut back on the chicken soup.'

'Another day. . . another half dozen medical breakthroughs for us to comprehend. . .'

'What do you mean you're the new Paediatric Specialist?'

Moo-Magrams Exams

Medical Library - Large books with really revolting photographs

"274 meters of bandage - It looks as though you're going to make the Guiness Book of Records, Mr Henderson!"

"I'm afraid it's two, three months, tops, before you're all pants."

"According to stomach content analysis he'll be dead in half an hour."

'Turn the other cheek, reverend.'

"Now, now, relax. All you're gonna feel is a quick jab."

'The donor for your face transplant was a Mr. Bonzo.'

'Just another couple of pages.'

'Perhaps I was a bit too graphic in describing the surgical procedure.'

Spider boy

'I'm sending you to see another doctor, he's a specialist in hyperchondria.'

"We have a cow AND a pig heart valve. Then, we gave him chicken lips, and a farmhand. I recommend you register him with the USDA."

"And there we have it, gentlemen! The first full face transplant swap of twins."

'Well, I'll be...look at this...there's a song in his heart!'

'Why do you people always wait a week or two before seeking medical help?

He said he loved her for her brain but was her appendix he was always taking out.

The Shoemaker's Appendectomy

A doctor calls a body builder to perform a patella tap test on a large patient.