Wharton Aficionado T-Shirts

'He has an MBA from Wharton.'

Race track - with the race being to apply the white lines between lanes

'...And now, the film most criticized for eroding traditional family values, the nominees are...'

'I'm old enough to remember when smiley faces were right side up.'

'For the actress who benefitted most by rehab...'

Tom Hanks

"Midtown Vinyl. Vintage albums + EPs. Midtown Ink. Vintage books + newspapers."

'...but there MUST have been something about a rail go-slow on 'News at Ten'?'

Abacus.

The-Lead-Us-Not-Into Temptations

Trainset

'Did anyone hand in a mature stilton last week?'

Arnold Schwarzenegger going to a party as Bach.

Shirley MacLaine caricature

'How about that? -- Lady Godiva got a bouffant!'

S**t Creek Halt

'You're not supposed to block off an area to look for your contact lens.'

"My husband is missing. I haven't seen him since he started wearing camouflage clothes."

'Sometimes I think we shoot too much film and too few actors - give me your gun!'

Man takes sandwiches left beneath a 'please take one' sign

"And here - take this Vin Diesel monologue with you!"

"Mrs. Barnes is to have a complete head-to-toe – she's to be the victim in a bandage-instruction class."

'I was 'Sweatin' To The Oldies', and I flipped over on my back!'

Scrip Doctor

'For years I thought it was the 'Supremes Court' and decisions were made by three women singing Motown.'

"I see myself as a lot like Garbo, but very much a people person!"