Western Film Aficionados Gifts

"I told him it was his round. But, he just keeps telling me that I'm 'speaking with forked tongue'!"

"What did you say about the health of my gut biome?"

'Unbelievable: My cowboy expects me to drop everything and come running when he whistles...'

'Hi, Doc! I don't think I'm going to need you after all....'

'No doubt about it Captain. See these markings? This arrow belongs to Robin Hood!'

'Who do you think you're kidding, Slim? — the ruby slippers are a dead giveaway!'

"This town ain't big enough for the proposed outlet shopping mall at Millet Creek Pass."

Nun Fight.

The Comfiest Hombre in the West

'OK, let's see who's going to be the pack horse today: Heads or tails?'

"Because, dang it, even cowgirls deserve a little 'me' time."

"Waving the hat keeps the cattle moving and lets my hair get some highlights."

"You funnin' me, bub?"

"It's nice to feel wanted though, isn't it?"

"I learned ridin', I learned cowpokin' and I learned how to eat and sleep under the stars. But, dag nab it, I never learned any geology."

Historic Bank Jobs.

Crossing the Nachos Grande

"Head for the carrousel! It's our only chance!"

Roland, the schizophrenic cowboy.

Draw!

'You got a search warrant, sheriff?'

"...you mean this is the end of the 3 bandidoes?"

'Mama! Aliens.'

The embarrassment of mistaking a salon for a saloon.

"I can't talk louder, I'm a little horse."

Old West Bounty Hunter.

'I don't know who you are stranger, but if you mess with big Gus you'll be in your coffin by dawn!'

"Uh-oh it's happening aain, the feeling I'm being triggered...."

'And what makes you think this is hostile terrain, Hank?'

"Yep, first the gold run out, then the microchip manufacturing went overseas."

"They don't make good husbands. They roam."

Domestic Pardners

"El muy mal perro"

Civil Howdy Pardnership

(Maps to the Homes of the Steers) (Maps $ 100)