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"....Don't squat on your spurs in the shower."

"They're comfortable."

101 uses of a dead cat: disguise.

'Baby's first two-step.'

'I'm looking for something to impress the shareholders.'

"They haven't mated yet, but I think we're getting close."

Non-violent Western (Cowboys with water pistols).

"There is a 5 month slow down. You are still on the fastest route. You will arrive next year."

"Oooooh....a western wear dog cone. Sexy!"

'I took your advice and got a long little doggy.'

"Dangnabit, Wilson! Where's that big campfire I asked for?"

"Herb's from Texas."

'Now, you can SWASH, and you can BUCKLE, but you can't SWASHBUCKLE.'

Sea Horse outside saloon

"This town ain't big enough for the both of us and, even if it was, I doubt either of us could afford to buy a place here given the current sellers' market."

'So you have to ask yourself: do you feel lucky?...well do you, monk?'

'I don't like it... It's too quiet.'

"Help! It's a sprawling epic!"

"Sorry, Zak, since paintball aint bin invented yet, looks like you bin shot!"

Cowboy in Old West boasts of having shot a guy for ending a sentence in a preposition.

"No one knows his identity. He just turns up, cuts your grass, then departs without leaving his name. They call him the Lawn Ranger."

"There goes 'ol Slim ridin' off into the sunset."

'You're going to have to stay confined to the bunkhouse for a week.'

'Uh, Jake, I believe that should be 'and the skies are not cloudy all day,' not 'and we pour ourselves more Chardonnary.''

The corona ranger

'Now that you're hired, our Housing Coordinator will show you to the bunkhouse.'

Gunswinger

"Quit saying 'President Trump'. You're spookin' the horses."

'It's what we were afraid of, Virgil. Someone's selling guns to the Indians.'

'The sheriff tells everyone to get out of town - his wife owns the travel agency.'

"He may be all hat and no cattle, but you've got to love the hat."

"When I said, 'Never bring a knife to a gunfight,' I figured the spoon and fork were also implied."

Sergio Leone

"I reckon we've never met, but maybe you recognize my brother from last year's cattle drive!"

"This cream puff was owned by a little old lady who only settled on Sundays."