Welsh Speaker Pillows

"You'll have to start again - you've missed out an 'I'."

"Of course he's smiling. He's getting $15,000 to give a lecture on free speech."

Carmel Buildings, Portman Square: A temperance meeting.

Diolch

'I would love to run for class president, but I'm concerned about the vetting process. I once faked sleep during nap time in pre-school.'

'I'm now going to open the floor to questions.'

'I don't understand your question. Could you restate it as an answer?'

". . . and in the immortal words of the man on our nameplate, 'In this world, nothing is certain but death.'"

Eddy's mom suggested that he do his speech on cue cards.

'Some of you may have heard that Dr. Weil is giving HIS talk right now in the next auditorium.'

Dylan Thomas

'... And I'd like to thank my agent and everyone who voted for me... '

"Please refrain from throwing business cards."

"In closing, let me tell you that never in the universe have I spoken before such an attentive audience."

'Your presentation on the advantages of e-commerce would've been better had it not been for the use of the word 'dude' 183 times.'

Welsh Lady

"I enjoyed your speech. Although I was sorry to miss my children growing up."

"My lecture is about our short attention spans and what a lovely day it is I should be walking but tomorrow maybe I’ll cut the grass..."

"Not many of you may agree with me..."

'Nervous about this morning's presentation?'

"Wow! You got a promotion? That's so inspirational! What's your secret, Baldo?"

"Speechmaking during a pandemic can be unnerving.. just pretend there's an audience!"

"To set the proper mood, you will now hear Winston Churchill's immortal 'blood, toil, tears and sweat' speech."

'I must admit that I've come a long way since I first heard the word speak!...'

"That concludes my presentation. I'll now open this up for some answers."

Vicar losing his place in the sermon.

"I have a brief statement, a clarification, and two denials."

Child dressed as a daffodil.

Welsh cheese

'. . . however, in the brand-new global ball-game of macro-economics we blah blah blather blah. . .'

'He says he comes from a planet the size of Wales, dear.'

Everyone's a Media Expert

'Before I read the investment committee's report - I would remind everyone that I never asked to be on this committee.'