Wellness Philosopher T-Shirts

Cemetery with graves engraved 'traditional medicine' and 'alternative medicine'.

'The dietician told him to increase his roughage!'

"Yes, six to seven weeks is my life expectancy! Once I learned that, I thought, the hell with it, I'll stop working and start travelling..."

Critisize your weight.

"I work out in preparation for being out of shape for the next 30 years."

The new normal

The Gospel According To Jane Brody"Orange, come in. Apple, come in. Hey you, frankfurter, hold it right there."

"You need to justify your own existence first."

A Footnote - Self Portrait of Beardsley, Bound to the God of Nature

"Always take the bull firmly by the tail and look him directly in the eye..."

Caveman to kid: 'There's more to life than what you read on cave walls.'

Middle Age: When you finally get your head together, and your body starts to fall apart!

"Smoke a cigar that fits your face."

An old man exercising with hourglasses

"Yes sir, I'm late. But I thought we were supposed to stop and smell the roses ... "

Guy in gym

Life, love and a lot of bananas.

City Bar and Grill - "Stop worrying, youth and enthusiasm can't compete with experience and treachery."

'Any chance of me being recycled Doc?'

"Just when I’ve reconciled the fact that I’m in my 40s, my 50th birthday shows up."

"This 'laying up treasures in heaven' thing - Is it some kind of tax dodge or what?"

"I'm surprised I'm still single - I always thought I'd be divorced by now."

'You may disagree with me now, Son, but when you're 500 years old, you'll understand.'

"Your next pilgrimage must be to a bodega for milk."

T-shirt reads: 'No Pain, No Pain.'

"When did everybody stop jogging?"

"You're born, you deconstruct your childhood, and then you die."

'Life passed me by without using a turn signal.'

Food Pyramid

Women

"Some day, son, all these aches and pains will be yours."

Who's Dead