Well-being Enthusiast T-Shirts

A female patient in an exam room sees a sign that reads, 'Break glass in case of physician burnout'

I want to be normal but I'm average.

Man receiving counseling to help him quit smoking

Positive advice.

Stress Relief Class. We learn to take things as they come and not stress-out. It's an "Oh, well-ness" program!

'Part of a healthy lifestyle is realizing that the numbers on the scale are completely irrelevant to well being...'

Happiness is knowing what you've got.

'I appreciate your wanting me to do a stress test but what do you think I'm going through right now?'

'I'll put it this way: throw away the planning book and start scrapbooking.'

'Learn to relax and don't bottle yourself up.'

'I hesitate to call it angst; it's more like angstyishness.'

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

Dietician to man: 'To address your spare tire we must first get in touch with your inner tube.'

Reach for the Star.

"Things are still a little rough for me, and occasionally I lose hope and get depressed—but I'm getting stronger every day."

"Your contents have shifted."

'I'm ninety-two! Tell me what I'm doing wrong... I dare you!"

"If you'd only come to me sooner I wouldn't have had to go to lunch."

"Today we'll be performing some much needed maintenance on Miss Trimbles weak pelvic floor."

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol

"Your bad cholesterol is trying to persuade your good cholesterol to switch sides."

Studies show foods work miracles!

"Can you come back? We're still counting carbs."

"What do you mean 'sitting is the new smoking'? I thought fat was the new smoking?"

'It's perfectly normal for middle-aged men to put on a little weight.'

'If you want to live a long time, try not to do anything that will kill you.'

"Daddy, you have to flatten this curve."

'You need to stay away from the pie in the sky.'

"I'm weighed down with so many gadgets, I'll need a push to start me off."

"You can't compare apples and oranges because oranges have longer legs."

'Your reflexes are still good!'

"Can Johnny come out and eat?"

Kid with 'Little Wellness Facilitator' kit

'Good news. Your cholesterol has stayed the same, but the research findings have changed.'

'We're all out of flu vaccine - how about something for anxiety...?'