Weight Watcher Humorist T-Shirts

No thanks, Bill, I'm allergic to chocolate. It makes me break out in pounds.

"No. I can't 'let it out a bit'. It's armour, you'll just have to go on a diet!"

"I hate it when the damned things decide they need to get out and burn off some calories."

'The second diet of my diet is always the easiest. By then, I'm off my diet.'

'According to the weight chart, if you were a condor, you'd have a wingspan of 97 feet.'

"Wow - Heavy, man"

'For heaven's sake, Lois, when are you going to give up this mad dieting of yours?' (woman falls through drain).

'Humans seem to be so weight-conscious: My rider weighs himself before each race...'

"Yes, if that towel weighs 25 lbs that would explain the reading."

'Too many people in our state are overweight, Senator. They want fat-free pork.'

'Take one of these diet pills every time you regain consciousness.'

"Hold on, hun... I'm just saying, losing four ounces in a month is better than gaining four ounces in a month!"

Woman Weighing Herself on Two Scales.

'Let me at it! Let me see!!'

'How long has it been shaking like a bowl full of jelly when you laugh?'

'I'm putting you on a 'whatever tastes good, don't eat it' diet.'

"Look, I can still fit into the suit I wore during the last paradigm shift."

'Good. Then there's no reason to stay on this diet any longer.'

'Don't step on that in your bare feet - my mom does and screams.'

Fat man on scales.

"Would you buy the apple pie for me? I'm on the 'No You Don't!' Diet."

'You strap it on and it monitors your eating habits -- it's called the 'Fudgebuster.''

Scales

No matter what I do, I still look more like a 'before' picture than an 'after' picture.

Full fatHalf fatVirtually fat free.

"I gained 10 pounds? I've brought my own bathroom scale for a second opinion."

'I don't want you to give up eating entirely -- just the food part.'

'Will we ever get a morning-after pill for over-eating?'

Weight Gain Denial

"Well, Mr Eagle, coming to see me is the first positive step to get you to soar again..."

"Are you sure? It doesn't look like a diet pill!"

'Oh, for heaven sake, Emily. . . stop cheating and just go on a diet like everyone else!!!'

Snake liposuction.

'You need to go on a diet, Dear!'