Weight Loss Surgery Prints

Gastrique Bypass

Dietician to man: 'To address your spare tire we must first get in touch with your inner tube.'

Doctor describes inside guts while patient has black thoughts.

"All I do is swim and eat plankton, but do I lose weight?"

'Now that I've lost weight, I can't afford new clothes in my size.'

On the back of the t-shirt...

'No, honestly, it's just diet and exercise.'

'I feel like exercising. Have you seen my tennis shoes?'

To do before Saturday...

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

'Don't worry, you're safe. I started my diet today.'

"The most I'll splurge on my diet is on a boneless, skinless carrot."

"I hope that's low calorie eye of newt."

Secretive Weigh In.

'The second diet of my diet is always the easiest. By then, I'm off my diet.'

"I want to leave myself some caloric margin of error for dessert."

"I'm putting you on a beef diet. Nothing beef for breakfast, nothing beef for lunch, nothing beef for tea, nothing beef for..."

The new diet not working out too good, huh, Frank?

'I won't tell my thighs if you don't..'

"He says that when he had a vegetable salad as an appetizer, he can now have burgers, pizza and Coke as a reward."

"I lost 20lbs on my diet. I guess it's time for a relapse."

Do you think I'm sixty?

'Take one of these diet pills every time you regain consciousness.'

Overeaters anonymous meeting today at 5:00.

'This towel is wet so I'll subtract fourteen pounds.'

"I really didn't have a weight problem until they invented skinny jeans."

'I did have a tummy-tuck...But I opted for reconstruction surgery at the same time.'

"Went with the hair plugs I see."

'Don't worry about a few pounds up or down. Our main concern is always your bottom line.'

"This is Chance. When he first came here he was a fat Chance. Now he's a slim Chance."

"If they do let anyone go I don't think age will be a consideration. You shouldn't kill yourself trying to look younger than you are."

'Of course she hasn't aged a bit. She's married to a plastic surgeon!'

"You need to do less talking the talk and more walking the walk."