Weight Loss Explorers T-Shirts

'These pills are out BEST sellers. I guarantee you'll lose 50 pounds as soon as you pay me.'

Not All Diets Work.

'No, honestly, it's just diet and exercise.'

"Vitamin B6, Vitamin B12, Calcium, Kelp, Brewer's Yeast, Aspirin?"

Overeaters anonymous meeting today at 5:00.

"You need to do less talking the talk and more walking the walk."

"I've tried 5 diets and haven't lost a pound. Maybe I shouldn't try them all at the same time."

'No, that doesn't make any difference either, Miss Jones.'

"This is our high-traffic, reinforced, heavy-duty model."

"It would be better with a protein, but add-ons are so expensive."

"My diet book is outselling yours."

'Yes, yes, yes, now seriously, what can we do to improve our health?'

"Cardiac day patients?"

'Wouldn't it be easier if we just got more heavier friends?'

'I'm on a diet -- I just eat the brains.'

'I don't know what happened in there, Stanley... But I've completely lost the urge to eat. I mean it - I feel stuffed! Supposed to come back right before thanksgiving for a follow-up though.'

The Catkins Diet

"Well. It DOES make you look thinner."

'The good news is that our latest diet products work fabulously well. The bad news is that we haven't got any customers any more!'

"So if I need to stop smoking and lose weight..what are you going to do about it?"

"I can fit you into a small cubicle on the third floor if you think you can lose twenty pounds."

'Lose those unsightly man boobs - JOIN THE US MARINES!'

"The diet seems to be working."

"MMPHH. . . I said I don't think I'm built for yoga!"

'Why did you switch doctors?', 'The last one was too skinny.'

'It's the thin person inside you, screaming to get out - I'm afraid he's not alone.'

'Fad diet. The weight will come right back.'

'Of course I'm on a strict diet, doc! I eat vegetarian animals only!'

"My doctor said I needed to go on a diet. . . Yes, to a new doctor!"

Health spa...

"I'm all for having a cheat day while dieting. However, you may be taking it a bit too far."

'It's okay - they're VITAMIN-ENRICHED chocolates!'

"This is absurd!" "This is incredible!"