Weekend Chores Pillows

"Because when you go first nobody else has any fun, that's why."

The Games Man: Fishing is his sole form of exercise - but he considers it bad form to move more than his wrist when casting.

'Something for the weekend, Sir?'

"In my house, 'dirty dancing' means it's time to mop the floor."

"The dryer giveth and the dryer taketh away."

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

'I used to do that, but it just grows again.'

When laundry ruled the waves.

Yardless: Please help

"I really miss being in a committed relationship, Randy." "Which part do you miss most?" "Having someone disagree with you over what you're going to eat, or over what TV shows you're going to watch? Or do you miss having to account for how you spend your time? Or having to explain why you bought yourself something awesome without first getting permission?" "Mostly I miss the back rubs. They don't ask you to wash the dishes first at massage parlors."

"She wanted to go to the beach. I wanted to golf."

Neighbor Leaf Wars

'Burying things is his version of spring cleaning.'

"Drunk, yet orderly"

Kitchen Tetris

"Garbage in, garbage out!"

A DIY disaster.

'Don't be alarmed if you hear the toilet flush a lot. Since you don't feel well, I thought I'd wash the dishes for you.'

'Have a nice weekend, Alfred.'

Believe it or not: Once upon a time Dads couldn't even boil water.

Mulching Vacuum Cleaner

'Our Filipino dog's a real treasure.'

Woman simutaneously playing the cello and washing man in bath's back

"I feel like tearing of all your clothes and putting them in the washing machine."

"Ok weekend! I hope you can make up for that awful week!"

Washing Line Walker

'No hay, no grooming, no mucking out and they live in the broom cupboard!'

Stone Age women were less happy than men at the arrival of the iron age: Look what I've invented just for you darling.

"For God's sake, Lucille. We're IN a vacuum."

'But you said to clean my room.'

"You get back here this minute, young man! You're not going anywhere until you clean your room!"

"Damn. These must have shrunk in the wash." "I don't think so."