Weekend Champion Pillows

"It may have been just a kick-about in the garden, but Eric took things very seriously."

"We had a lovely weekend, thanks Marge. United won two nil, Enland beat New Zealand and Lucky Lady romped home in the four fifteen."

Glastonbury. After.

I could have danced all night!

'Something for the weekend, Sir?'

'Alone for the weekend at last!'

"In the whole length and breadth of this world there is no more admirable a spot for a man and his dog to pass the time than the local Home Depot."

The end of summer is near and you still haven't made plans

'And just what makes you think I don't know what I'm doing?!!'

'How do you like my fantasy weekend so far?'

Friday

"She wanted to go to the beach. I wanted to golf."

'Your husband? He's just leaving...'

A DIY disaster.

"The only hobby we tolerate is working on weekends."

A man repeatedly pulls the start cord on his lawn mower until it falls apart.

Preparing for casual dress friday at the investment bank.

'Two hundred and nineteen.'

"Ok weekend! I hope you can make up for that awful week!"

'Wow, how did you catch something smaller than the bait you were using?'

Circus Act

'No, mom, Frank wasn't struggling through woods, sand and water in a triathlon. That's his golf game.'

After the gun ban, the guys still liked to go out and horse around on weekends.

'Thank God it's Friday', thought the watercooler.

"Are you sure how to use a baitcaster?"

"Gracie, I'm proud of you. Your team lost, but you tried your best and that's all that counts."

Getting through the week.

Learn to play the violin in one weekend - 'This isn't working! It's Saturday evening already and I've only got as far as holding it properly...'

Non-Jet Lag.

"Monday is too far from Friday. Yet Friday is too close to Monday."

"Consensus on a Friday afternoon... what a lovely way to begin the weekend!"

"And this right here was our weekend in the Hamptons."

A barbarian warrior eats his breakfast

'What did I SAY to DAVE?' - A person with hangover worrying about the night before.