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A Successful Wedding Party Returns From the Hunt

Second marriage vows.

"Daddy, I know you gave me away, but can you take me back?"

"I have sold my car so I can afford this wedding."

'What - are you deaf? He said, ‘I do.' Let's move it along.'

Bridezilla

"Thanks to my wedding planner, everyone in the wedding is still talking to each other."

"I'm weighed down with so many gadgets, I'll need a push to start me off."

"'Meetingpalooza' sounded better in the brochure."

'Why can't he just say 'I do'?'

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The Freedom of the Press is Worth Fighting For!

"We missed you at church Sunday."

Decapitated coffee.

"I want that dressing-room mirror fired."

'It feels like I'm very much in a good place these days. That is, aside from the grammar.'

"Put your phones on vibrate. Maybe they'll keep you awake."

"It boils down to which I dislike more: ironing shirts or non-iron shirts."

Shakespeare working on his "author's bio"

Say balls to testicular cancer, remember to check your crown jewels regularly.

'Can you debunk my essay?'

"I don't care what job you want, Bagshaw, for God's sake dress for the job you have!"

"I''' have the misspelled 'Ceasar' salad and the improperly hyphenated veal osso-buco."

'And in conclusion.'

Maria had always said you could never have too many shoes. Actually, she was wrong.

Shakespeare in the clink

"That's for staying married for thirty-five years to a difficult woman."

Competitiveness in Ancient Times

'I never said it was the comfy wear...I said it was the comfy look!'

"When I first met him, he was my knight in shining armour. But, he hasn't been near the metal polish in years!"

'Just tell him two quarts of milk and a pint of cream, Will- it doesn't have to be a sonnet.'

"Is there a seamstress present?"

'It's a good building contract legally, but your jargon's weak.'

Rebel without a cause. Poet without a war.

Unhappy, Happy, and Well Being Consultant Theatre Masks.