Web Doctor Skeptic Prints

"I looked up my symptoms on the internet and found out that I'm DEAD and it's YOUR FAULT!"

A boy is sat at a desk, with five plaques implying different qualifications he has earned from using social media.

"David live a rich, full life, despite what his Wikipedia page says."

Coffee. The phrase "where everybody knows your name" used to sound warm and friendly. Now, with all our personal information exposed online, it sounds scary!

'My daughter read on the internet about a hip replacement with free built-in MP3 player,'

"My blood type...it's the type that doesn't like to exercise."

'You don't have a heart murmur, but your liver is muttering.'

"...And those are some of the books I would have read if the Internet had never been invented."

Quick! 5-second rule!

'According to Dr Alvin McDowell, everything that was good for you is now bad for you!'

"Well, who you gonna believe? Me or Wikipedia?"

"When I was a kid there was no internet. If you wanted to bully someone, you had to do it to their face."

"And more intriguingly, your prognosis differs depending on which search engine I use."

"I'm sorry, Tom, you'll have to come in. I can't diagnose just from your tweets!"

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'Mrs. Tomkins says her prescription has no side effects, so it can't be doing her any good.'

"I suggest you take these pills on an empty stomach."

"No, as of yet, they are not on the internet!"

"My Doctor said I needed more exercise so I jogged down to the donut shop."

'If you don't believe me, Google it.'

'I had a stomach ache, so I took bicarb of soda and went to bed early. Did I do the right thing?'

'You're not my usual doctor.'

"I found out something last night that just totally destroyed my worldview."

"Yes, everything—I need a list of all the medications you're on."

"You're suffering from banner blindness."

This is Dr. Sadie. What's your question, caller? How can I tell if my cold is really bronchitis? Stop yer sniveling. In my day, a body would hope it was bronchitis. It gave you a chance to prove your grit! Nothing like a touch of burning pain, wheezing, and crackling in the chest to separate the women from the girls. What kind of doctor are you, again?

"My doctor said I needed to go on a diet. . . Yes, to a new doctor!"

"I think the dosage needs adjusting. I'm not nearly as happy as the people in the ads."

"Oh look, dear. when you press 'alt-right' it types a little swastika!"

"According to this website my symptoms show that I'm dead!"

"The internet begs to differ."

'Mrs. Nortman just sent in this fax of a rash that she's got on her stomach.'

"It's the only way I can get some of my paitents to listen to me."

Hypochondriac at two computers. One reads 'Internet diagnosis', other says 'Second opinion'.

'You have to chew your food: All this feeding-frenzy business is bad for your digestive system...'