Web Address Warrior Pillows

"First, they take my domain, then they take my domain name."

'3 Second Loading Zone.'

'We've knocked out the interior walls to improve our home Wi-Fi coverage.'

WiFi Signals

"The Wi-Fi password is publish 'publish or perish'."

Spammatic blaster - gun to shoot pop-up ads.

'This is your idea of hitting the local hotspots?'

"..Your analysis and medication would be perfect if you were a goat."

'The worst thing is not having access to your e-mail.'

"Get used to verifications. In the court of the internet, you are presumed a robot until proven otherwise."

'I'm sick of answering the phone - half the time, it's about business!'

"And that, gentlemen, is the Friday 4.55 pm Bad News Email Dump."

"My homework is not done because our home modem is tool slow for downloading the answers."

'I delete so much junk mail, my trash can icon turned into a dumpster.'

"I hit reply all too many times."

Sudok Fu: Sign up for class today!

"No, no … the sashimi is fine. But I’m not crazy about your Wi-Fi signal."

A sign outside a bookstore reads: "Meet the people in the bookstore cafe staring at their laptops 2-4 p.m."

"I like it here but if Santa doesn't get better WiFi I'm getting a new job."

"Wi-fi....Wi-fi...WI....FI!...."

'I have the MRI scan of your brain. The right hemisphere is clogged with computer passwords.'

'There's a gentleman here who's concerned because you haven't responded to not one of his 12 million email spams.'

"Well that email could have been a meeting."

"Yes, you did close some of your tabs. However, you still have 1,894 open. You're a tab hoarder."

Ed Revere, Spam Courier

"He's just discovered that out 450,000 blog rebuttal campaign was directed against a 12 year old in Swindon using his mums computer."

"Your call is important to us. Your estimated wait time is less than five hours."

"We understand you're not happy with our privacy policy."

"Sorry, Kevin, but having the wi-fi down for a couple of hour is not 'living off the grid'."

"He's joined a whatsapp group for fans of Matt Hancock's Whatsapp messages."

'Internet access... internet access....'