Wealth Humor Appreciator Prints

"I really try to put myself in other people's shoes, but it's not my fault if almost everyone has smaller feet than me."

'According to the weight chart, if you were a condor, you'd have a wingspan of 97 feet.'

'Remember, my door is always open Higgins, just be careful of the trap door.'

Turn your head and laugh.

Cambridge dons eat a banquet outside to prove they only get one chicken each.

God bless our home equity line of credit.

"I was hoping to make billions, but I've settled for making millions."

"I don't think you have a case. It's only slander if it's not true, and I've heard you play."

'I need to buy some gas, but I forgot my wallet. Do you have $18,000 on you?'

You're too enamored of wealth, Al. As it says in the Bible, "It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle that for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God." Is that a regular Camel, or does it have a filter tip?

"Do you want to order a contract killing, Don Carlos, or a pay-as-you-go killing?"

CEO slumber

Could you be a little bit more specific than an 'arm and a leg'?

"Management think staff need to use their initiative more, and they forwarded a 65 page memo on how they want you to do it."

Tom Bowler

He's going to help us with our late payers' problem.

'Ever think that if you make another billion you'll be happy, and then you do, but you're not?'

"Money talking."

'That's St Joseph. He's the patron saint of baby aspirin.'

'My hedge fund just got trimmed!'

'I find wealth impresses the Ladies. Try this, it smells of Petrol.'

Ex-Banker: Can you spare the price of a cup of tea? Anything else is a bonus.

'Next time, we will schedule our planning session before the martini luncheon.'

'We can pay you, or we can give you healthcare coverage, but we can't do both.'

'You guys are all pardoned - I'm putting in a wine cellar.'

'I want to make just enough money so everyone will hate me.'

"And is there any particular reason Mrs Muglewump for you wanting to divorce your 93 year old billionaire husband?"

'All of you get your hands in the air and give me all your money!'

'Reminds me, my urologist said there's something wrong with my plumbing.'

'Narcissism Helpline. How can you be of assistance?'

We're only happy when you're happy, inc.

Section 21, Paragraph B: When two or more vehicles come to a stop simultaneously, the most expansive vehicle enjoys the right of way.

'We are here to pay our last respects to a beloved CEO and the two vice presidents he decided to take with him.'

"The small businessman's lunch, sir? It's the same as the businessman's lunch but there's less of it."

"Can I tempt Madam with a piece of gum?"