Wealth Divide Satirist Gifts

"It's all about you, isn't it?"

The truth is, Congressman, we didn't know it was wrong to screw people.

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

Vinnie's Repossessions: A Turtle has just had his shell repossessed

"The economy's been worsening for a while, but people still don't feel it, Rudy." "...Which means we still have time to get in on the despair action." "Despair action"? "We're going to expand our menu. Add more comfort foods, more 'sale' items, debt consolidation loans..." "Nobody's dumb enough to get a debt consolidation loan from some random guy." "Ha ha hoo hoo hee-"

Where Ignorance is Bliss.

Cambridge dons eat a banquet outside to prove they only get one chicken each.

"...and the asparagus this evening is delightful. It's been simmering all day in the tears of the poor."

"When I said that if only poor people worked a little harder they might get some money, I didn't mean my money."

Help! Have to pay back a big world bank loan.

'I think we're setting the bar too low.'

'Bad news on Wall Street. The entire stock market has been downgraded to a 'junk' classification.'

"Thank you, and may the I.R.S. accept all your deductions."

'The fourth quarter was no walk in the park. Especially for those who count on us to walk in the park.'

Your son has a genetic inability to calculate. This forecasts for him a brilliant career in the Ministry of Finance.

'The bad news is that we're only in it for the money.'

'It's a demonstration by retired CEOs who refuse to give up their bonuses.'

'The 'free market' economic theory is falling!'

"We disagree with the president - we kinda like Robin Hood - we take from everyone and keep it - how much more successful can you get?"

"We bring him gifts of gold, frankincense and mercantile mutual hedge fund options."

Offshore tax havens.

'I used to be an accountant but I found it too depressing.'

'Cutting back to a single securities regulator is a good idea. After that, one more reduction and our troubles are over.'

Oil in Nigeria.

Bank of Cyprus-sia

Another Rogue Trader

Inflation is a national headache. . . caused by asset indigestion!

Stimulus bust

"Yes, 650,- euro net rent is a pretty good price and it's a very nice house... By the way, I'm talkins about this house, sir."

If things were going just a little bit better we could have filed for bankruptcy.

"Looks like charity is the transfer of money from poor people in rich counties to rich people in poor countries."

The ground cracking beneath a banker's feet because his bonus is so big and heavy.

The average taxpayer will ultimately embrace the auto industry bailout. Hell, we sold em all that useless undercoating for all these years!

The court freezes my assets and wants me to live on $20K per month? They want me to starve!

'This charge is for the office visit, this charge is for blood work, and this charge just about pays off the doc's school loan.'