Water Divining T-Shirts

"Sparkling or still" "Stop showing off Ted"

'Any minute now I'll be getting a headache.'

"I'm afraid our drinking water isn't pure."

He can lean back in contentment on cowslip banks and let everything wash over him.

"I'm not sure you'll want to know this."

"In the same of the phone, the tablet, and the desktop computer."

'You can't come in here with that.'

But there are other pleasures still for the fisherman's delight....for nature is everywhere about him.

"Finally, Miss Big-Shot calls her dead mother!"

'He takes bathtime seriously.'

Tourist

"You are going to have lots of puppies."

He is happy to take almost any kind of fish...

'Your future looks charming.'

Shallow End (Slightly innocuous statements) - Deep End (a little more weighty)

Fire hydrant with regular or sparkling water

'CANNONBALL!!' - Whale tours.

"We're having a special today on bright futures."

"Hurry up Dad, I need the loo!"

Boy asking for bathing machine to be taken out deep so he can dive in.

"Your mother says 'wear a bra'."

"Well no, Ed. Jonah's fish probably wasn't as big as the one you caught in the state fishing tournament."

"...and right here in Q2 is where the 'you know what' hit the fan. . ."

Jesus wept

'Of course, the future isn't what it used to be.'

Hog Futures

'I got one of those new crystal ball smart watches.'

'We will conduct the background check. Our fortune, Madame Zula, will conduct a complimentary future check.'

'Can you get me in touch with people that own me money?'

'You're a water sign and I'm an earth sign. . .Together we're mud.'

Crystal Ball Plug

"You'll be able to talk to your husband. I have video conferencing."

'Fortunes, Impressions, Hunches, Wild Guesses'