Watching Property Shows T-Shirts

'Darling! This isn't a property programme at all! It's the view from our living room window..'

"Some day, son, all this will be your ex-wife's."

'And this is Eddy, he's been giving virtual tours long before computers.'

"Aren't you the estate agent who sold us this house?"

'Hmmph. Here's an ad for affordable housing five minutes from downtown. By what means? Learjet?'

"A little baking soda will get rid of the smell.

'Honey, it's the escrow people. They want to know if you could send a stool sample.'

Jet flies by. 'And of course it's handy for the airport.'

TV show is called Repossesion Repossession. Man says: 'I see the property shows are reacting to the economic downturn.'

'Gee! You must have lost some on this property!'

'What makes you think the basement leaks?'

"The high price is due to the great view of the beach."

House hunting is cruel.

"It's like a tiny house, but bigger."

"You see a haunted house, I see a house with good bones."

"I told you we should have sold last winter."

'I think you'll all rest easy knowing this is a gated community!'

House for sale, appliances included (in the yard).

"To be honest, we were thinking of something like a Cape Cod."

"Admittedly, it is a bit of a 'fixer upper'."

'Yes, there is a bidding war - but I'm almost certain you aren't allowed to take prisoners.'

'Thank God I don't live in a Jimmy Choo!'

'My expedition confirmed what we already suspected: Two-thirds of the Earth's surface is covered by water, and the rest by real estate!'

"So, how's that 'Tiny House living' working for you so far?"

"It's a bit of a fixer-upper."

"It has tremendous possibilities."

'Look, they're slowing down.'

Real Estate Crispy Flakes: Location/Location/ Location

'Oh, look, honey - the master closet has a walk-in bedroom!'

Real Estate Life

"When you pay the rent for your one-room studio, you mustn't think about what you can get for that amount back in Iowa."

'With so many children, I can't afford to live in a choo anymore.'

Estate Agents.

"Grandma is included in the purchase price."

"You're going to love the 360 degree views with this one."