Watching Cooking Shows T-Shirts

"You missed the garlic. The place went nuts when he added the garlic."

"Keep in mind, this dish is best served in a restaurant cooked by anyone other than you."

"And now a recipe for disaster..."

'I think the salmon is thoroughly smoked.'

"....And then chuck the whole lot in the dustbin and phone for a take-away."

I'll say one thing for that chef on TV...he really makes deboning a chicken look easy.

"...and here's some I made earlier..."

"I'm afraid we only watch the cookery programmes."

'Now time for a coffee while hubby cleans up the mess.'

'...now pour the mixture into a baking dish...'

"Then add one extra large egg..."

"Your dinner's being demonstrated on the cookery programme in ten minutes."

Things to do while you're stuck at home during the coronavirus crisis.

'Does this thing get channel four.'

'The following programme contains scones of a sexual nature.'

"Oh joy. Looks like the turkey is almost done..."

TV chef sets the TV on fire.

Junior Masterchef - "Darren Smith and I'll be cooking chicken nuggets with Mars bars in a CocaCola sauce"

"Look at the size of this gas bill - you'll have to get rid of some of those celebrity chefs!!"

Here's one I made earlier.

My Cauldron Rules

"I should have never let you watch those cooking shows on TV!"

'Gentlemen, put your money away. When it comes to killing TV chefs, I work for free.'

'Ready, steady, Operate'

Those who bought my cookbook with the transposed pages will get a refund. Those who actually enjoy Lobster Alfredo a la mode - bon app

"I'd rather be seared by Emeril than sauteed by Rachel."

"The recipe says, that the whipped cream has to be piped onto the sponge."

'For this dish we're going to need two bottles of good quality red wine. And that's before we even start cooking.'

Chefs

'Amazing - No sooner do we invent cooking than we get the first celebrity chef.'

"He's been watching all those cookery programmes."

'Son, do you think I'm ready for my own cooking show?'

'Celebrity chef' 'Celery chef'

'Noooo! You idiot! For crying out loud! Sear it first! Then a slow oven.'

"Curl your fingers to avoid cuts when slicing or chopping...I learned that trick on a TV cooking show!"