Wasp Dodgers Pillows

Riding with your jacket open in summer is an ideal way to collect wasps,

Bees v Wasps

'If cupid shot me with his arrow this week, it would bounce right off!'

'I won't be taking any more calls today. I threw my phone out the window.'

'Isn't it time you got over your silly fear of water?'

'Don't read the Book of Revelations yet -- it's full of spoilers.'

"How do I turn off my camera so no one stares?"

"Do you have a one day a year membership?"

Bureaucracy (Murphy's law)

"Can you send me a text so I can use it as a ruse to get out of this conversation?"

Catching the Sun

"If you don't wish to hear the match result look away now."

Church of the Low-Carbs

"If you wouldn't book hotels with such great amenities, I wouldn't miss so many seminars."

Bob worked hard to avoid the spotlight.

'Beautiful day out there, folks. Don't miss it. Complete coverage, coming up next.'

"The bad news is Lady Sybil has died in childbirth. On the other hand, Bates is back home and Tom's sticking around to help run the estate."

Wasp being sprayed.

"And in this corner is a wasp, so we're going to stay away from it."

"That book was so cliche. Can you believe the butler actually did it?"

"Yes, you've caught me at a bad time!!"

"So I take it you won't be going to the staff Christmas party!"

"Before you say anything, let me tell you which TV shows I don't want spoilers on."

Other Walks of Shame

Survivors of Near-Flu Experiences

Money going to shark and piggy bank (colour).

HEALTH CLUB, 'It's just a bunch of guys sitting around eating breakfast cereal.'

'May I have your frequent flier points?'

'If you don't want to know the scores please exercise your distrust of the BBC now.'