Warranty Worshipper T-Shirts

'No, no, lets steal this one. It has a lifetime warranty.'

"You're very interesting, for a civilian."

Drool Marks

Pete Sampras

Sunbathing in Autumn

"...and for today only, you'll get 10% off all tithing!"

Vishnu playing twin neck guitar.

Marilyn's Rushmore

"From the wind, the chill and the snow, a god is born."

'It's Sundays like this that I regret our church website is so popular.'

"Restless spirit, we don't know who or what you are, but thank you for your amazing Wi-Fi, and for keeping the signal strong."

Church: Open Sundays

"And the Lord he sayeth 'doest thou thinkest I knoweth not who sniggereth at the back there?'"

"We're testing a new virtual reality praise & worship system for the satellite campus."

Jennifer Aniston

'Remember you are dust bunny and to dust bunny you shall return.'

Fitness in church.

"Sosa's great, but McGwire is my hero."

'This sermon will run a little longer because it's a sermon about sermons that run a little long.'

Priest's computer screen reads: 'e-confession. Please type 10 Hail Marys ... and no cut'n'paste ...'

"He's so happy it's finally sunny and warm, he's been standing out here like that for hours."

"Before I start today's sermon let's take 5 minutes to view the highlights reel from the last 3 Sundays..."

Church Sign Asks If You Are Prepared for Digital Conversion.

"Sorry, but the Wi-Fi password is for tithing church members only."

Worshiping the TV.

"We had 17 first time viewers on the live stream sermon today." (pastor talking to his wife)

Church Parking

"Finished feeding the 5000. What do you want to do with the left over fish?"

Surgeons high-five spectators as they enter emergency room.

'I know you haven't seen me.. your last sermon was so good, it lasted me an entire year!'

"Fantastic service, lousy food."

'Mom! Can my role model stay for dinner? He's suspended for three games and has nowhere to go.'

Sunday sermon: 'Dearly beloved, restore our faith in the almighty dollar.'

Sermon about 20 minutes

Yonder: Roll Call Every 15 Min.