War History Buffs Pillows

'No. No. Don't bomb them now. Wait until morning, when the birds are singing and the air is alive with a sense of possibility.'

It Wasn't Personal

Don't Hate Me Just Because I'm a Traitor

Mohammed Loses a Buddy, Gets PTSD

'Cheer up, son. Life is just a bowl of hand grenades!'

Family of tanks.

"Still killing the anonymous, but with greater anonymity."

"Approaching 10,000 steps."

"Maybe the next one will be a singles cruise."

Vote Centrist to Keep Things Exactly as Awful as They Are

'Alone for the weekend at last!'

"I know we just met, but all I got is a twenty-four-hour pass!"

1847 - Bram Stoker, creator of Dracula was born in Dublin.

"I've come across a rather disturbing find, Carstairs!"

'I think I'll stay in and try to catch up on my reading.'

"Don't tell me we're eating Paleo again."

'Shoot, this is nothing, you should have seen how good we had it back in ancient Egypt.'

'He took from the rich and gave to the poor? It sounds like wealth redistribution.'

'Too late...looks like they've already been pillaged.'

The First Fire Stick

"I can never remember - do these go in garbage or compost?"

Sundial Time

"I plan to read the constitution this weekend. Is it long?"

Castle, Cafe + Gift Shop.

Lord George brings news of the debate

'I'd think you'd be used to having a moat by now.'

King on the toilet whilst jester laughs because the toilet paper is out of reach.

Mission Kinda Accomplished

"We have plenty of time to catch the ark."

"It's World Cup Soccer, Tia Carmen. The U.S. vs England."

The Evolution Of Man.

"A Bill of Rights? - Don't you TRUST me?"

'I was in the catering corps.'

"It's either the Ten Commandments or the Mueller Report."

"Don't make me pull over this mammoth!"