Wannabe Indiana Jones Mugs

"Rusty old carts, full cans of soda, little packets of nuts...MY GOD! Stanley, this must be the Forgotten Tomb of Inflight Service!"

"Well if I can't be a cowboy I'll be a lawyer for cowboys."

New Guy.

'Do you think he's ready for the big round-up?'

'As a famous writer, could you do something to help jumpstart my career?'

All Les's dreams of stardom were coming true, and he'd only played one note.

As Seen On TV

'I think winning that last hand went to Bob's head, because he now has an entourage.'

"You're like the grandpa I never had, Mort." "You never knew your grandpappy, Randy?" "Oh, no, I knew him. Grandpa Randy was an intrepid archaeologist who broke hearts and defeated villains all over the world." "‘Indiana Randy’s’ life story became the stuff of legend. They even made some movies based on his exploits." "I'm just saying you're nothing like him." "I was going to see those films back in the '80s, but the matinees were past my bedtime."

House building chart (like steps).

"There comes a time, Little Buddy, when you have to just accept that you'll never be famous....that your life will never be adapted for television and that when you die, only five or six people will truly care."

Everyone in Tinseltown deserves 15 minutes of obscurity.

How to win Genius Grants for Dummies!

Musician sings off key while his dog can only watch,his jaws strapped together

"I think we're ready for the big move up from shed band to full garage band."

"I found my thrill on Blueberry Hill."

Before and After Tattoos.

'Be reasonable, son - even Santa couldn't get a horse into a box THAT size!'

Dave's new nail gun revived the childhood ambitions he'd had before realizing that he could earn more as a carpenter than as a hero.

I'm emulating my dad - running around with mags like this. Looking smart...and in truth I'm just reading the funnies and the horoscopes!

Joel's mum was very strict. . . No homework, no air guitar.

'Selma never had a lesson in her life. She picked up all that noise on her own.'

'Jon likes to think he's 'rock 'n' roll'.'

"We're only here summers, but Roger likes to be taken for a local."

'I like to think of myself as Tiger Woods' greatest nightmare - although I'd don't know why he'd ever dream about me.'