Wannabe Golf Legend Mugs

'I like to think of myself as Tiger Woods' greatest nightmare - although I'd don't know why he'd ever dream about me.'

"Well if I can't be a cowboy I'll be a lawyer for cowboys."

New Guy.

"He built his own airplane from a kit."

'Almost anyone can learn to play golf, and you're the 'almost'.'

'If he starts early enough, he could be the next Rory Mcilroy.'

'I think winning that last hand went to Bob's head, because he now has an entourage.'

As Seen On TV

My First Boat

"There comes a time, Little Buddy, when you have to just accept that you'll never be famous....that your life will never be adapted for television and that when you die, only five or six people will truly care."

Everyone in Tinseltown deserves 15 minutes of obscurity.

How to win Genius Grants for Dummies!

'If he's going to be another 'Tiger' he has to start young.'

Too many beers at lunch?

'Ms. Brown memo to all staff:'FORE'.'

Before and After Tattoos.

'Be reasonable, son - even Santa couldn't get a horse into a box THAT size!'

Dave's new nail gun revived the childhood ambitions he'd had before realizing that he could earn more as a carpenter than as a hero.

'Son, as I can see it, your career prospects as a pirate seem to be... hm...limited!'

A ball's best case scenario.

'Selma never had a lesson in her life. She picked up all that noise on her own.'

Jenny has a mid-lithe crisis.

"Well, if we're playing tackle football I'll be the coach!"

Golfing Work-out

"Carry yourself like everyone knows you, ad everyone you meet will feel like they should know you."

After the cutbacks at flight simulator school. . .

"I've got a part in a soap."

"I've never actually run but I understand the marathon mentality."

For Sale- Cottage near golf course