Wannabe Anthropomorph T-Shirts

"You’d think being anthropomorphic would be enough but nowadays you need a Masters to even get your foot in the door."

'Do you think he's ready for the big round-up?'

As Seen On TV

'I think winning that last hand went to Bob's head, because he now has an entourage.'

"Yep, it says "pesticide"! Not only are they trying to kill us, they also insult us by calling us pests!"

Your Palm

'I'll be talking gibberish to you in a moment. There's a big tip in it for you, if you pretend I'm speaking French.'

Grocer with pretensions of being a soldier

How to win Genius Grants for Dummies!

The Don't-Quit-Your-Day-Job Comedic Revue

Everyone in Tinseltown deserves 15 minutes of obscurity.

"There comes a time, Little Buddy, when you have to just accept that you'll never be famous....that your life will never be adapted for television and that when you die, only five or six people will truly care."

"I think we're ready for the big move up from shed band to full garage band."

A young boy shaving

I'm emulating my dad - running around with mags like this. Looking smart...and in truth I'm just reading the funnies and the horoscopes!

And so ended the years of preparation our hero refusing to whimper even now in his final, flopping moments.

The Island

"We're only here summers, but Roger likes to be taken for a local."

"Carry yourself like everyone knows you, ad everyone you meet will feel like they should know you."

TO BOLDLY GO where everyone else went (not all that long ago...)

"I've got a part in a soap."

New harder driving tests - Instructor saying 'Find a parking space'.

"I can try all I want, but there's no way I look smooth on this bike!"

"I can grant you three fishes."