Volunteer Fireman Pillows

"If we're to make a life together, you have to accept that I'm a volunteer fireman and have to be ready to picnic at a moment's notice."

'I think the salmon is thoroughly smoked.'

'Yes, as a matter of fact, you have caught me at a bad time.'

"Be kind"

"We need volunteers for the car chasing fundraiser."

Woman escapes with cats.

'Put a tick under 'very toxic'.' (New Orleans Toxic Clean-Up Team).

"I'm in nonprofit work for the money."

"Never mind how I got up here....just call the fire department."

'He has a big heart. . . inviting his homeless friends in to stay dry.'

'It was the little darling's first time sitting up at the dining table!'

Meanwhile, in Florida: Little Free Library/Little Free Firearms

'Strong curry for two and a fire-extinguisher.'

"I have special needs-- good food, warm bed, fresh water, and plenty of room to pop wheelies!"

Achiever: An illustration of how many thoughts she can have in a split second, while still listening to him.

"Oh we're fine, my husbands just learning to cook during the quarantine."

"I came as soon as I got the message!"

The New Normal

'In case of fire, don't panic, pay your bill then run like hell.'

'It's good to see that you have a smoke detector...'

'Waiter, could I have some more water right away?'

"Hey, there's Sara, padding her college-entrance résumé!"

TV chef sets the TV on fire.

"We can't actually pay you, but your work will get a lot of exposure."

'For five years you can't get a single politician to take any notice of you...and then half a dozen turn up at once!'

"In times like these we all have to pull together, to work flexibly. We need to operate outside of our traditional roles for the greater good."

"Wow, these e-readers take forever to burn..."

'I'm filling in for the sommelier. We have a fine shiraz today for only $39. It's 14.7 alcohol, a Class 1B flammable, so if I see you consume it near an open flame, I'll have to cite you.'

Boy scout replaces Atlas during Bob-a-Job Week.

"Tia Carmen, if times are tough, how come you're giving money away?"

Buddy hadn't learned from the time his tongue got stuck.

"The third leading cause of forest fires."

'She knew we'd try to talk her-out of it.'